Getting Started

So, he popped the question.  Or, maybe you're just expecting him to.  Or, perhaps you're a fourteen year old girl dreaming of the day someone will.  Either way, planning your wedding may seem like a monumental task.  Ease the stress by getting organized with these simple steps.

1. Start a wedding notebook.  First things first--get yourself a three ring binder, a hole punch, tab dividers, and page protectors.  Don't spend money on a pre-made wedding planner because you can find everything you need online.
2. Make a checklist. Since this is probably your first time planning a wedding, printing a checklist from a source such as Real Simple's Ultimate Wedding Checklist will ensure you don't forget anything important.
3. Schedule.  Whether in your notebook, your phone, or a wall calendar, you'll want to stay on top of important deadlines.  Your checklist will offer suggestions of how far ahead to book your venue, photographer, etc., and we'll discuss these matters in a future post.
4. Categorize.  What categories you include will differ depending on what's important to you.  You might have a tab for the dress, the reception, the venue, contact information for service providers, or the honeymoon.
5. Print and clip.  Now for the fun part.  Just like Queen Latifah's "Possibilities" book on the hit movie Last Holiday, fill your book with all the wonderful possibilities you might include in your big day.  Clip pictures from magazines.  Print from online dress catalogs or Pinterest.  Tie on ribbons to represent your colors.  Go overboard--you can whittle down the ideas as you go along.

Now you're organized and prepared to start your planning.  Remember, it's not just the destination you'll remember.  The journey is half the fun.

Should I Serve Alcohol?

Whether you're a wine connoisseur, or whether a cold beer is more your style, it must be admitted--alcohol is expensive, especially when you're serving a crowd of thirsty guests. How can a penny-pincher like you keep the booze from breaking the bank?

The obvious and most absolute solution is, of course, just don't serve alcohol. But if you can't drink to that option, perhaps one of the following will fit your style. Remember, most venues require you to pay for extra security if alcohol is present at all.

1. Zero-proof substitutes. If you'd like the look of wine but not the cost, consider using sparkling grape juice instead. Generally, it runs half the price of even the cheapest bottle of wine. If you like mixed drinks, try a Margarita mix with ginger ale instead of tequila, or bottles of virgin sangria.
2. Reserve drinks for the bridal party. It's your wedding--you can choose to serve only select individuals, such as the bridal party or family of the bride and groom. In fact, there's nothing wrong with serving a little champagne just to the newlyweds.
3. Limit servings. Use small glasses, and limit one glass per guest.
4. Buy the cheep stuff. You can buy decent wine for, at the time of this writing, about seven dollars a bottle. Shop around and compare prices. Ask the manager of your local package store if you can get a discount for buying in bulk. Check the manufacturer website and find out if you can buy in bulk directly from the manufacturer.
5. Pay bar. Many venues now offer the option of a pay bar, where guests can purchase their own drinks if they so choose. However, keep in mind that this doesn't get you totally off the hook--you'll still be paying for the services of the bar tender, use of bar equipment, and the additional security that most venues require.

Italian Dinner Reception

So you want to treat your guests to a sit-down dinner. How do you fill a crowd without breaking the bank? Pasta! This simple Italian dinner will delight your guests with the flavor of the old country.

This menu includes:

• Salad
• Bread (garlic toast or rolls)
• Spaghetti or lasagna

To craft your Italian dinner, begin with a bagged salad of your choice. You may choose to use just one type of salad dressing or offer two or three options to your guests. Don't go overboard--you don't have to offer every flavor on the dressing aisle. Italian, ranch, and vinaigrette will suffice. Optionally, top with crutons and shredded Parmesan or feta cheese.

Next, choose your bread. Bagged rolls from your local bakery or grocer are a simple option as they do not need to be heated. If you prefer garlic bread, you may purchase fresh or frozen garlic sticks or toast that need only be heated. To reduce costs, you may want to make garlic bread yourself using this simple recipe.

Garlic Toast

Ingredients: 

• Thickly sliced bread
• Butter
• Garlic powder
• Shredded cheese (optional)

Spread bread with room-temperature butter and sprinkle on garlic powder. For cheesy garlic bread, sprinkle with shredded mozzarella or Parmesan cheese. Bake 5 to 10 minutes or until the edges brown and cheese has begun to melt. May be served warm or at room temperature.

Next, choose your pasta. Frozen family size lasagnas are a good option if you'd like to conserve prep time. Keep in mind, though, that these often need to cook for upwards of 2 hours. Spaghetti, on the other hand, is very inexpensive and goes a long way. Top it with warm spaghetti sauce and, optionally, with meatballs and shredded cheese. For a five-star appearance, garnish with a spring of parsley.

If you're feeling more adventurous than your average canned spaghetti sauce, try this traditional family recipe that's just too good to covet as a family secret. It is quick and easy--throw your ingredients in the crock pot the night before or morning of, and its reception-ready!

The Family Sauce

Ingredients: 

• 2 32-oz cans crushed tomatoes
• 1 green bell pepper, finely chopped
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 2 heaping tablespoons garlic
• 1 apple, chopped or pureed
• 1/2 cup Italian seasoning
• 2 tablespoons dried parsley
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• salt and pepper to taste

Place all ingredients in large crock pot and stir. Cook on low overnight or at least 6 hours. If time is limited, cook on high for 2 hours. Serves 20-25. 

This Italian dinner can easily be served buffet-style, or plates may be prepared and brought to your guests. Remember, preparing plates can help you remain within budget (and not run out of food!) by limiting portion sizes and hasty guests returning for seconds.

Hors d'oeuvre Rececption

Second only to the cake and punch reception, an hor d'oeuvre (or, appetizer) reception may be the simplest and least expensive to tackle. Your guests will not go hungry, and most of these finger foods require little or no preparation. Ready-made foods purchased from the grocery or bulk foods store are a good option when prep time or individuals willing to prepare food is an issue.

Foods that can be purchased ready-made:

Sliced deli-spirals can be purchased in the frozen foods

• Vegetable tray with dip
• Fruit tray with dip
• Meat, cheese, and cracker tray
• Pasta salad
• Cheese ball or cheese log with crackers
• Sandwich tray
• Sliced deli-spiral wraps
• Salad
• Chips and salsa
• Stuffed olives

Warm pastries filled with spinach and cheese
will delight your guests. Purchased frozen,
they require just a few minutes of baking
and are ready to serve

Be sure to call at least a week in advance and let your grocer know how many of each item you will be needing. That way the store will have all items on hand when you are ready to pick them up. 

Penny-pinching tip: All of the above foods can be prepared at home for less than the ready-made price. If you, your friends or family have the time and the willingness, prices may be cut in half.

Foods that require minimal preparation:

• Cocktail Weiners
• Meatballs in marinara sauce
• Quiches
• Hot pastries

Any combination of these items will earn you a fabulous hors d'oeuvre reception!

Cake and Punch Reception

The cake and punch reception is the easiest and cheapest to pull off. Decorations aside, you will need only a few supplies--napkins, plates, forks, cups, and of course, the cake and punch.

We'll discuss ways to save on your wedding cake in a future post. In the meantime, check out this recipe for Delicious Wedding Punch

Ingredients:

• 2 two-liter bottles of ginger ale (or lemon-lime soda)
• 1 large can of pineapple juice
• 1 half gallon orange juice
• 1 half gallon rainbow sorbet
• Fresh fruit (optional)

Chill soda. Pour all liquid ingredients into a large punch bowl. Mix and spoon in sorbet. Garnish with fresh fruit for added appeal. Serves 15-20.

It's that simple. Don't worry about ice because the sorbet keeps it cool.

Making a Success in Marriage

Well, friends, have you found that after your fairy-tale fabulous wedding has drawn to a close, being married is not as easy as you imagined? It can be a challenge to maintain a happy marriage. Divorce rates have been hovering around fifty percent for years now--and let's face it, thrifty spenders, divorce is expensive.

I'm no marriage counselor, but my husband and I have found the advice in the following links helpful.

Surviving the First Year of Marriage
Dealing With In-Laws
Managing Money
How to Stop Arguing
How to Forgive
How to End "The Silent Treatment"
Rebuilding Trust in the Marriage
Making a Second Marriage Work

More Topics

Do you hear the pitter-patter of little feet? Click here

Are There Children in the Mix?

Whether you've been married for years or you're just getting started, raising kids can be a challenge. Check out the links below for articles, videos, and other valuable parenting tools.

Article: How Children Change a Marriage

For small children:
Say Please and Thank You
Stealing Is Bad
Be Neat and Clean
How to Deal With Tantrums

More Topics for Parents of Small Children


For Teens and Pre-Teens:
Be Social Network Smart
What Makes a Real Friend?
Dealing With Bullying
How to Communicate With Your Teenager
How to Talk to Your Teen About Sexting

More Articles for Teens- Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Work

More Topics for Parents and Teenagers

More Topics for Parents

What Is A Wedding Shower?

There are several types of gatherings that commonly precede and follow a wedding. Here's a list to get you started. Start jotting down your to-dos, then click around to get some fabulous ideas.

Engagement Party
Many couples officially announce their engagement at a social gathering specifically for that purpose. This may involve a full-blown party (perhaps arranged under another pretense), a restaurant dinner with family and friends, or a simple announcement at any other gathering (for example, asking the MC to announce an engagement at a mutual friend's anniversary party. It's a nice romantic mix, but get permission from the anniversary couple first). Of course, a formal announcement is not necessary. Another affordable option is mailing announcement cards.

Bridal Shower
This shower is typically ladies-only. Many brides enjoy the refinement of tea and finger foods. Most bridal showers today are "private" or "personal" showers--with gifts of lingerie--but in the past, other themes were possible, such as kitchen implements, candles, teas, etc.

Wedding Shower
While some brides want to keep this shower to themselves as well, co-ed showers are very popular.  Guests typically bring gifts from the couple's registries.  Games and food are a must.

Bachelor or Bachelorette Party
I'm not really going to touch this one. This type of party often becomes wild and unruly, and often involves activities that can cause martial problems later if your spouse finds out.  My suggestion: get together with a few good friends, rent a movie, order a pizza, and pig out on cookies and ice cream.

Rehearsal Dinner
Usually held after the wedding rehearsal the evening before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is a time to thank family members and those in the wedding party. Gifts for the wedding party are often given at this time.

Reception
The grand finale! A time to celebrate the new couple as well as the guests who support them.

Give Her a Dozen Roses

This do-it-yourself edible goody is both decorative and easy to make.

You'll need:

Candy roses for a friend's wedding shower

• Thin wooden dowels or kabob skewers
• Jumbo Marshmallows (I recomend the colored ones)
• Green gummy candies (spearmint leaves are best)
• Colored icing
• Floral or beading wire
• Floral tape
• Clear tape
• Heavy vase (see options below)
• Plastic wrap
• Ribbon and/or twist ties

Edible roses can be made in these simple steps:

1. Cut gummy candies to desired size. If using gummy spearmint leaves, use a paring knife to cut down the middle, resulting in two thinner leaves. Green citrus slice candy can be used in the same way.
2. Cut wire into 2 inch pieces. Insert one wire into each leaf. It will resemble the central vein that occurs in real leaves.
3. Push marshmallow onto skewer until the skewer can be felt at the top of the marshmallow.
4. Bend the wire slightly just under the candy.  Place two leaves directly under the marshmallow with the wire parallel to and touching the skewer.  While holding the leaves in place, begin wrapping the wires and skewer with green floral tape. The tape sticks to itself best when stretched slightly.
5. Overlapping the edges of the tape, wrap in a spiral down the length of the skewer. For extra security, place a small strip of clear tape around the bottom of the wrapped area.
6. Match an icing color to the color of the marshmallow. White, pale pink, and pale blue marshmallows are most commonly available. Squeeze icing in a swirling pattern on top of the marshmallow to resemble the folds of rose petals.
7. Place "roses" in vase and allow icing to harden. Make sure they don't touch and smear the icing. Also, store in a cool place. Otherwise, the icing may melt and ooze.
8. When dry, loosely cover the rose head with a square of clear plastic wrap and secure with a twist tie or ribbon.

Viola! You now have a stunning array of a dozen roses for the blushing bride.

Display option 1: Arrange your roses in a heavy vase or in a vase weighted with marbles, glass beads, etc. A word of caution: These roses are top-heavy. If the vase you place them in is not sufficiently weighted, the vase will tip as some roses are removed by guests.

Display option 2: Place a square of floral block foam in a desired vase. Press the stems into the foam--it will keep them in place. Cover the foam with something pretty, such as tinsel or beads.

Display option 3: Place one or two roses in a bud vase. Put a vase at each seat or at each guest table.

Display option 4: Depending on the personality of the bride, she may enjoy carrying a bouquet of candy roses down the aisle, or candy roses intermingled in a cut flower bouquet.  Be creative!